Terror and Panic Strike Boston by: Aaron D. Hancock
In some strange twist of
reality straight from the Twilight Zone an entire city went into terror spasms
over a series of 38 highly menacing blinking electronic flashing signs of
mooninites flipping the bird. Fortunately
for the terrified Bostonians, many of whom were running in terror and diving
behind huge concrete planters designed to be aesthetically pleasing versions of
devices created to divert the blast of a possible truck bomb, the astute police
force of Boston recognized the grave nature of the attack and quickly swung into
action. Across the city police
rushed to close bridges, tunnels, roads and buildings, all but bringing traffic
to a standstill. Chaos ensued in
the city and riots nearly broke out over milk and bread as most Bostonians
apparently believe a snowstorm immanently accompanies terrorist attacks.
Lines formed at gas stations, and some left cars behind and walked into
the safety of the nearby suburbs because of the overwhelming gridlock.
Order was only restored by pronouncement on FOX, CNN, and MSNBC “news” via
official proclamation from Turner Broadcasting, home of the Aqua Teen Hunger
Force television show upon which the mooninite characters appear frequently. The company had not only claimed responsibility for the
terrorist attack, but they even went so far as to apologize for it and the
ensuing results! These
“terrorist” mooninites showed themselves in nine other cities across the
nation, including in the ever jumpy number one terrorist vacation location, NYC,
however no one in the other cities seemed to panic… or to even notice for that
matter. A far cry from the havoc
wreaked in the melee of panic stricken Bostonians and terrified Boston Police
officers!
It was first thought that the
devices may have been more threatening in nature if all the signs were blinking
in unison. A group of Police hiding
behind one of the aforementioned planter/barrier structures claimed that the
signs may have been blinking in unison and that this increased their aggressive
and terrorist like tone, but no evidence has yet come to light to support this
suggestion. This might, however,
explain why Boston’s reaction differed so much from the other cities attacked
by the terrorists if Boston’s mooninites were indeed focusing their blinking
light power together somehow in a terrorist manner, then that could explain the
situation and in that case, Turner Broadcasting may indeed be to blame here, but
to cast blame with total certainty would be pure speculation.
Turner Broadcasting went so far as to reveal that the terror attack was
targeted at men aged 18 to 24 as that is Adult Swim’s “target market.”
Clearly that should make this a hate crime based on targeting specific
demographics and it shows clear intent. I
think the Boston PD may have a case after all.
Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis stated in an interview with the AP that, “The city clearly did not overreact. Had we taken any other steps, we would have been endangering the public.” Yes, clearly there was no overreaction Commissioner, the city’s police response seems totally reasonable! The Police obstructions of traffic and closing of parts of the city resulted in an estimated cost of some $500,000 US dollars. I firmly believe this money should be docked from the pay of these cowards that pass for police officers in Boston. They had robots picking up blinking signs for goodness sakes! Homeland Security is beyond a joke, it is simply a guise for the total removal of our rights and freedoms.